Cocky Driver Syndrome and How it Can Put Your Ministry in the Ditch

I grew up in the Northeast, completely comfortable driving in any weather. In order to better equip me as a good driver, my parents would accompany me to empty parking lots to do donuts in the snow before plows had come through after large winter storms.  I loved it, and I became pretty good at handling my vehicle in all sorts of compromising conditions. Yes, I’ll admit it: I had Cocky Driver Syndrome.

The winter of ’97 pounded the cockiness right out of me, though. Young, engaged, and working through college, I wasn’t very diligent in maintaining my vehicle. I was broke. So when the first snowstorm of the season hit, I headed out like it was nothing. There was a mere four inches of snow on the ground, and two miles into my commute, I nearly went off the road three different times.

I gave up, turned around and went home, appalled at my inability to control my car. What the heck was wrong with me? Four inches were nothing. I was a good driver, darn it! And I was. I was experienced and well trained.

Little did I know, my driving skills had nothing to do with why my car nearly went off the road—my tires did. They were nearly bald with no tread. In other words, I hadn’t maintained a healthy system. I let it go, and despite my skills, I could only perform as good as my car was capable of performing.

I see this truth paralleled in so many churches. They have a skilled and experienced leader at the steering wheel, but because the ministry hasn’t maintained a healthy system and sound structures, church members often wonder why the guy or gal in charge can’t “get it done.”

The reality is, no matter how experienced a person is, they will only be able to perform at the level in which the system is equipped to function.

Does your ministry have a vision, and does that vision include goals? If not, you’ll have no traction in getting to where you want to go. Is your ministry supported by an engine of well-trained volunteers? If not, you’ll be running on overdrive.

Maintenance is everything, and too often, it’s overlooked in the ministry world. How do you maintain healthy systems in your ministry? What sort of tools do you use to ensure your ministry is functioning at its optimal level?

What I Didn’t Learn in Geometry, I Learned at Church

Adapted from an earlier article from Melissa published by youthministry.com <http://www.youthministry.com/articles/leadership/what-i-didnt-learn-geometry-i-learned-church>

Triangulation. It’s the classic killer of many ministries. Person A tells something to Person B, and Person B takes it to Person C. The problem is exponentially exacerbated when Person C actually holds court in the first place with Person B. There are many different forms of Triangulation, but it’s even scarier when the main culprit adding fuel to the fire is your rector.

The best way to avoid triangulation is to simply adopt the biblical principle in Matthew 18. If you have an issue with another person, don’t go behind that person’s back and stir up trouble. Rather, go to that person one on one. If the conflict cannot be resolved, then, and only then, do you take a group of people as witnesses to help mediate. The verse also mentions seeking a spiritual leader as the third course of action. Though many pastors are excellent at sniffing out potential triangulators and refuse to hold court with such persons, I know many ministers get sucked into it—sometimes even unintentionally.

A clergy person may feel that it’s her or his duty to adhere to an open-door policy with her or his congregation. Clergy are often trapped into listening to people complain about a member of his or her staff (paid or volunteer). Sometimes parents feel offended by, threatened by, inconvenienced by, the decisions youth ministers or Sunday school teachers make regarding their children. Sometimes a choir member disagrees with a call the Minister of Music has made. But what is happening the minute a priest has heard these complaints and then, in turn, brings those concerns to the staff member or volunteer after the fact? Plain and simple: triangulation.

Instead, clergy should make it an expectation that no complaints may be brought forth unless the person(s) has first spoken with the offending party. Then, if the problem has still not been rectified, the priest should set up a meeting with the complaining party AND the offending party, together. This policy needs to be universally incorporated into the culture of the church.

What happens if the complainant doesn’t want to talk directly with the offending party? The priest needs to kindly shepherd them by explaining our biblical model for conflict resolution. If the complainants still do not wish to speak with the rector and offending party in the same room, then the rector needs to hold the line. Yes, it’s extreme, but the complainants shouldn’t be given a forum to address their issues unless they have gone about it properly. Anything outside of this model is truly beyond the realm of the example Christ would have us live by.

What should you do if you suspect that your church is perpetuating triangulation? First, thank God that it hasn’t sunk your ship…yet. Second, speak to your program and pastoral staff of your church and remind everyone of Matthew 18. Strategize with them about ways that you, as a team, can start promoting the new expectation of conflict resolution for the congregation. Finally, pray that the church has the strength to follow the guideline with grace and mercy.

The Youth Minister Left. Now What?

Many volunteer youth workers are left with this question when their youth director/minister has been fired or has resigned unexpectedly. This time of transition can be sad, confusing, and frustrating. It’s often a time for grieving. And though every church going through transition needs to discern the issues leading up to the exodus, it’s not a time for panic. In fact, now is the time to reflect and contemplate. A time to re-evaluate and…breathe.

First, smart churches are honest and transparent churches. Mistakes have probably been made, and now would be a good time to debrief what led up to the youth director’s exit. Have an open and honest conversation between the entire youth ministry leadership team, the clergy, and other church leadership. It’s important to admit when things could’ve been handled differently, rather than simply blaming the departed.

Simultaneously, do NOT try to cover things up with the students. Youth want to understand why their beloved youth minister has gone away. And it’s wrong to push it under the rug; don’t insult youth’s intelligence because you don’t necessarily understand either. Be honest with them, but most importantly, be there for them. Show them true leadership by keeping your cool.

Do NOT try to do everything the youth director did, especially if he or she was full-time. With the rest of the leadership team, determine what areas of the program can afford to be put on hold. Assign duties as wide as possible to lighten the load an any one person. If a large trip, such as a missions trip, is coming up, consider asking a current volunteer to plan and lead it. Depending on the amount of work that needs to be put into it, consider offering the volunteer a stipend for the work done.

Do NOT start the search process immediately. Consider the vacated youth director’s job description. Is it realistic? What strengths are required to do the job? What weaknesses are often associated with individuals that possess the qualities you seek in a qualified candidate? Be practical and consider ways that the current volunteer leadership is willing to support a new youth director.

Get educated. Read. I recommend reading Mark DeVries Sustainable Youth Ministry before searching for a new guy or gal. Make it required reading for the entire leadership team, as well as for the elder board or hiring committee. This resource will arm you with practical step-by-step advice on what is needed and for a successful youth ministry.

Finally, don’t forget about the youth during this period in time. Relationships are what matter most, so don’t be absent and burn out because too many “things” need to get done. Keep it simple. Keep it real. Keep it going…

Volunteer Accountability

It’s tough being a volunteer or lay leader.

Volunteers are often under-appreciated, over-worked, and mis-managed. It can be equally difficult when a volunteer drops the ball. Sometimes volunteers don’t show up because they had something else to do, they forgot, or are simply burned out because they took on too much. Some volunteers get proprietary over “their” ministry because they are certain nobody can do it as well as he or she can. Why is this a major problem? Due to a number of reasons including the down-turn in the economy, many churches are being forced to cut paid positions such as sextons, administration, and even clergy. More churches are relying on volunteers more heavily, so it’s important that churches practice good habits concerning volunteers. A few practical steps can ensure that volunteers are nurtured and valued, but are also held accountable.

First, smart congregations have an inventory of the jobs that need to be performed. Sunday school teachers, youth leaders, chaperones, sextons, acolytes, altar guild members, vergers, choristers, coffee-hour coordinators, nursery attendants etc. need to have individual job descriptions for each role that they fill. The job description should contain a brief summary of expectations and an estimate of how long the job should take. Let’s face it, just because someone is a volunteer, doesn’t mean that the “job” is any less vital or deserving of a working job description.

All volunteers should sign a covenant (like a job agreement). A good covenant should consist of bulleted items that the volunteer will and will not do in and for the church, the community, and the world. Since every church is different, these covenants should reflect the uniqueness of the church community. Online covenants should not be adopted, rather they should be tailored with the specific church family in mind. A group of individuals that have managerial and/or HR experience would be a great group of people to ask for help with this.

Volunteers need affirmation. It’s easy to forget to say thank-you. An important, yet often overlooked function of paid clergy and staff is to lift up volunteers. Volunteers need to be thanked and thanked often. Volunteers supervising other volunteers need to remember that one role as supervisor is to thank and encourage their volunteers.

Finally, it’s important that covenants and job descriptions aren’t created, signed, and then lost or forgotten. These documents should be reviewed and updated yearly. Volunteers should have annual reviews. This can serve as an excellent way for clergy to help shepherd their congregants by helping them find ministries that suit their spiritual gifts. Covenants should be renewed every so often. It’s through taking these steps that churches may use these tools to help volunteers be accountable.